amandalyle's Dreams
Spiritual Enlightenment via French Stick
I hear it before anything else — that familiar drumming inside my skull. A cosmic woodpecker tapping directly on my soul. Not so much a sound as a vibr...
1/24/2026
Royal Roid Rage
It’s raining the way British rain does when it’s not trying to impress anyone — not dramatic, not cinematic, just a committed, personal damp that seeps...
1/23/2026
The Misadventures of Hugo, a Misbehaving Heart
My heart is misbehaving again. It has developed a personality of its own. It now answers to the name Hugo — because Hugo sounds like someone who woul...
1/22/2026
Useless Thing
I am ankle-deep in eggs. Not metaphorical eggs. Not emotional eggs. Actual fried eggs. Slippery, greasy, yolk-slicked casualties clinging to skirti...
1/21/2026
Dregs
I don’t properly remember last night’s dreams. Not the lush cinematic ones with symbolism you can peel like fruit. Not the kind that leave you waking ...
1/20/2026
The Understudy of Fate
I’m a fly on the wall again. Shunted out of my own dream and downgraded to a silent witness — no voice part, no influence, no applause. An understudy ...
1/19/2026
Cutting The Cord
Something slides through the letterbox. It skids across the mat like a timid white mouse — a small padded packet, light as breath. I bend to pick it u...
1/19/2026
The Day I Lost My Knickers
I hate calling in sick. I don’t do sick days unless I’m actively auditioning for the afterlife. If I can still blink and drag one leg behind the other...
1/18/2026
Clean Up on Aisle Two
I’m drifting through the supermarket, minding my own business, snugly cocooned in the blissful vacuum of my own inner world. Head down. Mission-focused...
1/17/2026
The Village of the Damned (and the Blocked Toilet)
I somehow gain lucidity. Out of the blue. It just calls out my name — or at least I think it does. I might just be hearing voices. “Mum, mum,” someone...
1/16/2026
Tone Bloody Death
I’m at a bar that smells of old raincoats, stale lager and the quiet rot of unfinished conversations clinging to the walls. The lights flicker like tir...
1/15/2026
The Static Between Us
The dream-team are back together. Charlotte. My trusted companion. My partner in crime. My emotional support human slash unofficial crisis manager. O...
1/14/2026
The Driftwood Society Club
I’m in the car with Amy. Of all the people. My arch nemesis. A woman who genuinely hates my guts — would wear them as a belt if the sizing worked. And...
1/13/2026
The Uninvited Guestbook
There’s a knock at the door. Not the familiar ratta-tat-tat of Richard, our Evri guy, who knocks like he’s apologising for existing. Not the almost-ta...
1/12/2026
The Three Monkeys
I live with three cats. This was never the plan. Life just hacked something up and walked away. There was only ever supposed to be one: Monkey. Th...
1/11/2026
Pat-a-cake, Pat-a-cake
I don’t know what I’ve walked into this morning, but the atmosphere is wrong. Thick as treacle, clinging to your skin and lungs alike. The kind you cou...
1/10/2026
The Road Trip That Never Was
Of all the places my subconscious could drag me, it’s spat me out at a petrol station. A nowhere place. A pause button. A held breath. A suspended mom...
1/9/2026
Sign Here With Your Nose
The carpet man has arrived. It’s been a long time coming. Nearly a year, in fact. A year of grinding, saving, talking myself out of holidays, shoes, d...
1/8/2026
Rollin, Rollin, Rollin
I’m in an airport, due to board a flight to the isle-of-fuck-knows-where. Or at least, I was. I had good intentions. I always do. They just never survi...
1/7/2026
The Writers’ Retreat
I arrive at the writers’ retreat and — credit where it’s due — it’s exactly as impressive as the brochure promised. A vast stately home nestled in the ...
1/6/2026
The Snow Globe
Christmas has come back to haunt me. I’ve only just survived it — the forced cheer, the ritualised joy, the edible regret — and here it is again, tapp...
1/5/2026
Labour Pains (Non-Contractual)
Sophie Langford is giving birth on the pavement. Not a hospital pavement — no reassuring white lines or ambulances idling with their mouths open — but...
1/4/2026
Please Wipe Your Feet
I’ve been invited on a night out. Invited is generous. Cornered feels more accurate. I say yes, though every sensible cell in my body votes no. I don’...
1/3/2026
Breaking Bread
The diner is a living, breathing embodiment of vintage charm — a shrine to the 1950s. Vinyl booths in sugary pastels. Chrome trim polished to a mirror ...
1/2/2026
Downsizing the Soul (With Sea Views)
I’m moving house. This is not exciting. This is not aspirational. This is not “new beginnings.” This is a decision I was talked into — then slowly con...
1/1/2026
Ticking Time Bomb
I don’t usually like sweet things. But today my body craves sugar with the urgency of an addict scratching at their skin. I want all of it. Haribo, fu...
12/31/2025
The Misadventures of an Elephantine Foot
I’m wandering through the town centre with my friend Ash, and everything seems to hang its head, ashamed of lingering past its welcome. Christmas is te...
12/30/2025
It’s Just a Little Crush
I don’t know why I’m jealous, but Matt — from work, not my husband Mat — has bagged himself a new girlfriend, and she is hot AF (as the youth would say...
12/29/2025
Unbelievable: A Lesson in Social Etiquette
I seem to have travelled back in time. My daughter sits beside me in the back of a battered old car, legs too short for the seat, socks mismatched, no ...
12/28/2025
Curiosity Killed the Postwoman
I’m in the depot — just shoot me now, why don’t you? — staring down a parcel that refuses to be known. I’ve turned it, weighed it in my hands, traced e...
12/27/2025
The Day I Lost My Cat and Found Myself
Panic wears me like a second skin. I’m tearing through the street like I’ve misplaced my soul and it’s learned to crawl. “Monkey!” I shout, dropping ...
12/26/2025
Bleed It Out
Ash has bagged herself a new boyfriend, so it seems. He’s tagging along with us on one of our adventures. I can’t say I’m enamoured by his presence. He...
12/25/2025
The Tears That Lie Beneath
Mum isn’t quite herself today. Not broken, exactly — just misaligned, like a picture knocked crooked on the wall that no one wants to straighten becau...
12/24/2025
Blind Leading the Blind
I have gone blind. I can’t see a damn thing. Not even the suggestion of a thing. Complete, sodding darkness. Panic detonates in my chest — sharp, i...
12/23/2025
A Tradition of Guilt
“I love Christmas!” Alice beams. She’s wearing a jumper so aggressively festive it should come with a warning label: may induce rage. A sequinned rein...
12/22/2025
The Plough
My husband wants to go for drinks. Eager. Festive. Full of good intentions and Christmas cheer. I’m not keen. I’d much rather stay home with the comfo...
12/21/2025
Keeping Up With The Osbournes
I seem to have been booted out of my own dream. Sidelined. Pushed to the back of the audience… into nonexistence. I’m still here, technically, but onl...
12/20/2025
Freaky Friday (Astral Edition)
That familiar drilling through my skull begins again, like a bored woodpecker with a personal vendetta. My whole body vibrates, teeth chattering, nerves...
12/19/2025
Squeals-on-Wheels
“I have a surprise for you!” Mat is beaming, practically brimming with excitement. He knows I don’t like surprises. Never have. Surprises are just pl...
12/18/2025
My Angel in Human Skin
Mum is being overly loving. Right in my face, smothering me in kisses, telling me — again and again — how much she loves me. It’s unsettling. She’s nev...
12/17/2025
The Trials and Tribulations of an Almost-40-Year-Old
All the cats in the neighbourhood have broken in. Not wandered. Not casually drifted in. Broken in. This is organised crime. A coordinated feline sieg...
12/16/2025
Sidetracked
My blasted brain. It’s a firework display with no finale — just endless bangs, fizzles, and smoke choking the sky. I park the work van somewhere sensib...
12/15/2025
Feeding the Silence
Robin looks like someone who has had the air sucked from under her wings. The Christmas rush has finally found a way in. It presses at the edges of eve...
12/14/2025
Skeletons in my Closet
The all-too-familiar industrial screeching begins again. Loud. Unbearable. A drill boring straight through my ears, vibrating my teeth, rattling my sku...
12/13/2025
How to Lose Friends Without Even Trying
I’m back at the hell hole that is work — where the lighting hangs low and grey, like it’s given up trying to illuminate anything, least of all me. Pau...
12/12/2025
The Face in the Crowd
At first, the corridor feels ordinary in that dreamlike, shifting way — people rushing past with dream-soft faces, edges smudged as though reality was ...
12/11/2025
Gone With the Wind Gods
The wind gods seem to have a personal vendetta against me today. Not a mild irritation — an actual blood feud. I can barely keep my feet on the ground....
12/10/2025
The Saddest BBQ in the World
I’m hosting a BBQ. Apparently. Though if you looked around my garden — my meadow, technically — you’d assume the event had been cancelled, exorcised, o...
12/9/2025
Reindeer in the Headlights
I’m pushing my trolley through the park on my post round. My loyal wheeled companion — squeaky, stubborn, and apparently allergic to straight paths. Mor...
12/8/2025
The Unmasking
I am seated upon my porcelain throne — royal, obviously — because my subconscious enjoys giving me grandeur at the most unseemly of times. A dignified ...
12/7/2025
Chains of the Unspoken
Mat and I walk hand in hand, streetlamps jittering on the puddles like sky constellations dipping their toes in the dark. He’s picked yet another Fine-...
12/6/2025
Where The Lost Things Go
Mat has lost his upper teeth. The important ones. The front-line soldiers of his smile — the ones people notice first, the ones that do half his social...
12/5/2025
The Black Beast
There’s a knock at the door — three taps, frantic, like someone who’s just run across seven counties carrying seven children. I open it to find Ash, ch...
12/4/2025
Killing Me Softly
I’m dusting the antique cabinet, my feather duster brushing in soft, rhythmic strokes as I hum “Killing Me Softly” It’s absurdly cheerful for a song ab...
12/3/2025
Celebrity Clairvoyance and Other Misfortunes
I’ve apparently made a dazzling new career move — because why stick to a tedious nine-to-five when you can reinvent yourself in the dream world? I’m no...
12/2/2025
Twin Peaks; A Crisis in khaki
Tall trees loom around me like judgmental giants, craning their necks to see which poor soul has wandered into their territory today. I’m sporting a fu...
12/1/2025
The Cold Coffee Massacre
I’m in the writing zone — no, the writing vortex. The place where reality dissolves and the only thing that matters is the clack-clack-clack of keys un...
11/30/2025
“Wake Up, Space Cadet”
I really wish the dream gods would get their act together. Of all the infinite universes they could drop me into — enchanted forests, neon cityscapes, ...
11/28/2025
Youthzempic™ and Other Catastrophes
It feels like the end of the world, or something wearing the same mask. The London Underground is vibrating like a creature caught mid-panic. Sirens ho...
11/27/2025
I Can’t Get No Sleep
I can’t get no sleep. I begin the night as a hopeful pilgrim, lying flat like a sacrifice to the Dream Lords, praying they’ll baptise me in their ocea...
11/26/2025
The Indecent Perambulations of a Most Weary Postwoman
I drag myself through another morning of drudgery, the sky a sullen grey pancake pressing down upon my spirit. My trusty trolley — loyal companion and ...
11/25/2025
The Circle of Lost Things
I’m sitting in a circle of empty chairs, the kind that look like they could squeal if you confess anything too heavy. The whole room has AA energy, min...
11/24/2025
The Pushover
I don’t know what strange force summons us here, but here we are — standing on the rooftop of a skyscraper like two miscast extras in a psychological t...
11/23/2025
That’s Just the Way the Jaffa Cake Crumbles
I’m in a decrepit old house I don’t recognise. The ceiling sags and weeps in slow, swollen drops. Strips of wallpaper curl down the walls, peeling away...
11/22/2025
Grandpa’s Last Hurrah
There’s a knock at the door. I open it to find a blonde woman in full-body Lycra — the sort that should come with a health warning. She has the face o...
11/21/2025
The Cats know Everything
Somehow the universe has dragged us back together, though the air between us feels thick — like a decade’s worth of unspoken sentences has congealed in...
11/21/2025
The One With a Gender-Bending Billie Eilish
These winding roads are mocking me now — taunting me with yet another bend, yet another déjà vu of sodden hedges and potholes deep enough to store chil...
11/21/2025
THE DAY MR COCKY LOST HIS EGO
Michael Sealey’s honey-soaked vocal cords seep through the holes in my earbuds like warm caramel, oozing directly into the gullies of my soul. Oh, Mich...
11/18/2025
The Lizard, the Dodo-Brain and the Salamander
Back at the drudgery they insist on calling “work.” Can’t I escape this damn place? Apparently not. Even my dreamworld gets infested —parasitically— b...
11/17/2025
Charcoal Chatter & Other Social Niceties
I’m at a barbecue, though no one looks like they’re enjoying anything remotely edible. People are scattered around Laura’s garden, sipping beer like it...
11/16/2025
“Please Take a Seat (But Not in This Lifetime)”
I wake up, or at least I think I do — because everything looks the same, but feels… off. Like I’ve slipped sideways into a knockoff version of my life....
11/15/2025
The Perils of Not Reading the Room (or the Flute)
I have been entrusted — quite irresponsibly, I might add — with a magical contraption full of swirling orange liquid. It looks like a flute, if a flute...
11/14/2025
The Quiet Pull
My phone is popping off like a firework in my hand — a staccato symphony of pings and vibrations. Texts are flooding in, relentless, multiplying like c...
11/13/2025
Rich House, Poor House
We inherit a house. Not just a house — a mansion. It rises before me like something half-remembered from a fever dream: Victorian, vast, ornate as a w...
11/12/2025
Beef Wellington Blues
The restaurant is buzzing with noise and hungry diners. The kind of chaos that clings to the walls like grease. My husband and I sit by the window, awa...
11/11/2025
Roxanne
I feel my body vibrating. That ever-familiar screeching in my ear. Like a kettle screaming from another dimension. I know I’m about to take off — but ...
11/10/2025
The Straw That Broke Kev’s Back
It’s another delivery day, and I’m out with Kev — Kev of the creased face, Kev of the hollow eyes, Kev of thirty-five years and one frayed nerve left...
11/9/2025
Cat & Mouse
After gobbling down a chunk of chalk-sized Altha-GPC (industrial strength, straight from the dream gods themselves), I start to feel the all-too-famili...
11/8/2025
The Cat is on Fire and Other Disasters
Ding. Ding. I wait on Mum’s doorstep, stamping my feet to keep warm. Jen stands beside me, her breath hanging in the air like cigarette smoke. We’re i...
11/7/2025
The Shitshow
Granny’s practically levitating beside me, her wiry silver hair fizzing with anticipation. She’s been saving up her pension for this — for the boys, sh...
11/6/2025
“The Tooth Fairy’s Having a Breakdown”
The bottom row of Mat’s teeth have fallen clean out. Snap right out like a denture. He holds them up to the light, which glints off them mockingly — th...
11/5/2025
The Bride, The Corpse, and The Exorcist.
Church bells pierce through the wind — loud, discordant, like they’re arguing. I’m at a wedding. My daughter, Phoebe, is getting married. To who, I’m n...
11/4/2025
Aisle Be Damned
I’m at the depot and all hell has broken loose. People are spitting feathers — literal feathers, almost — because the whole place has had a makeover. A...
11/3/2025
Something Smells Fishy
I’m back at the dentist. That same antiseptic tang - disinfectant and fear — hangs in the air like a warning siren you can smell. “Not this place agai...
11/2/2025
Half Past Never
It’s Sunday. I hate these twelve o’clock starts. So much for a day of rest — it’s a day of waiting, watching the hands crawl towards doom. When I fina...
11/1/2025
Bring Your Husband to Work Day
It’s Bring Your Husband to Work Day. The depot buzzes like a restless hive, fluorescent lights trembling against a ceiling stained with time. New faces...
10/31/2025
Through One Door and Out The Other
The air in the depot is thick as treacle — heavy, slow, and humming with exhaustion. It clings to my skin like someone else’s sweat. The fluorescent lig...
10/30/2025
Can You See My Saucisse?
I’m abroad somewhere hot and vaguely exotic — Greece, maybe, though it feels more like a parody of Greece, built from postcards and plastic suncream bo...
10/29/2025
I Walk Alone
I wake to my daughter’s voice drifting through the morning air — loud, exaggerated, bright with that wild joy only children seem to carry. She sounds al...
10/28/2025
Astral Sabbath
That familiar sound of industrial scraping — metal on metal — an explosion in my ears. My whole body is vibrating like I've swallowed a jackhammer. Am...
10/27/2025
Sign, Sealed and Scorched.
I’m out on delivery again, though nothing feels quite right. My uniform’s wrong for a start. Gone is the garish red of Royal Mail — replaced by an Ame...
10/26/2025
Boys Behaving Badly
I approach a Victorian-looking toy shop — the vintage kind. Its crisscrossed windows glow like a lantern in the dusk, flickering gold against the darke...
10/25/2025
“Adios, Wordpress”
Alex is young again. No older than six. He sleeps beside me, mouth slightly ajar like a baby bird waiting for crumbs of air. His cheeks are flushed, so...
10/25/2025
Honey, I’ve Shrunk the Grownups
The church door looms over us like something alive. Mat knocks once — a deep, hollow sound that rolls through the air — but there’s no answer. Just sil...
10/23/2025
The Devil Lives Here
I’m at Mum’s. She’s been acting off all morning — twitchy, distracted. Not her usual self. She keeps pacing from the kettle to the window, window to th...
10/22/2025
Changing Lanes
I realise I’ve become lucid. What now? I think. I mustn’t waste this opportunity. The air is ripe with possibility, thrumming like a pause before thund...
10/21/2025
When the Doors Lock
I have travelled back in time. I can only be around seventeen. Eighteen tops. My hair is cropped short — bleached blonde, like innocence that’s already...
10/20/2025
Mr. Miowki
Kev from work tells me about the flea market. Says it’s “a hidden gem,” which, from Kev, could mean anything — a car boot behind a Greggs or some post-...
10/19/2025
Twenty-Five Hours
I’d gone to bed listening to a sleep hypnosis track for lucid dreaming — one of those calm, velvety voices that promises to guide you deeper into your ...
10/18/2025
The Last Pink Lady
I’m at the supermarket, half-asleep under the fluorescent hum, scanning groceries through the self-checkout. Beep. Beep. Each sound feels like a hear...
10/17/2025