rahhh

so in the first one i was watching this ballet performance and the performers were all nice and inspiring me and talking to me about their creative process. and the performance was very interesting it had to do with many lights and colors in rainbows. i was taking a video of the performance though so i could have the memory for later and apparently they didn't like that. they chased me down and were going through all my stuff. then when they couldn't find the video they turned all evil and mean and were like chasing me around the city with a whole army. i tried to fly up in the air but they could too! i was a tiny bit lucid at this point so i tried to just sit down and meditate to stop that plot line flow. but i didn't work. then i had another dream the next dream was much more interesting! it started out in mexico and i was in mexico with some ex friends and we were staying at a hotel. but then we all got bit by this orange spider! and so we had to go to a local sort of hospital type place but it was a bit not as big of a place it was more like a home and there were a few doctors and nurses there. and apparently i had the worst of the bites i had them on top of my wrists symmetrically on both sides. and also a smaller one on my left ankle. by the time we had gotten there they had already gotten worse and were starting to bubble up with infection and turn purple. and they were getting me all ready in the little room where they did diagnosis and surgeries. and the nurse was being nice enough i suppose. and asking me about how long the bites had been like this and i said i just got them this morning. it seemed like they knew the type of spider i was bit by which was a good thing. but they seemed perplexed because my case had happened so rapidly and the bites were already so much worse, that apparently they couldn't just give me one shot and be done with it. i had given one shot to myself in the ankle while they debated. they would have to give me multiple shots, and much closer to my chest and brain. and the amount they would have to give me to combat the neurotoxin was apparently a worrisome about they were debating wether or not to give me. so then eventually i guess they did decide to give me them. and they were all laying me down now and i think they were gonna do some surgery as well. and so they gave me the like 5 or 6 other shots of the dosages but it was in my Nose so i was like. okay stop (i had to beat them a bit with my right arm cause i was starting to go sort of paralyzed all over and not be able to speak) i was like okay stop if you keep doing that im gonna pass tf out. that's what it felt like anyway. and then they were prepping me more for surgery and one of the nurses finally noticed my tonsils were swollen as well. so then they became extra concerned about that. and i had been concerned about that the whole time because i had a feeling an infection like this would make my tonsils worse. and she was asking me how long my tonsils had been like that like she thought it was from the spider bite. but i was like they've been like this since february. and she looked all wide eyed and a bit annoyed like i should have gotten treatment for them by now. but i was telling her i had been trying to get treatment my hardest i just wasn't able to get anyone to get me a surgery to help until a date months later (like is happening in real life rn) and anyway she wasn't really paying attention cause she was contuining to prep me for surgery and i could barely talk or move anyway. and that's when i felt your presence come in the room dada you were the head surgeon/doctor so everyone bent under your authority. and respected you a whole bunch. and so the more sort of paralyzed i became i could hold sort of mouth words, and i guess the nurses thought this meant i was unconscious cause they began to speak more freely about all the medical steps they needed to take as they prepared. and they even spoke sort of casually about "well in that case (referring to something) the patient dies and we'll label that a code 375" being still a bit conscious i was alarmed about them having a such nonchalant attitude about that outcome. but anyway i had a feeling that the surgery was gonna be my deathbed like once i went under anesthesia by tonsils would swell up and i would suffocate. and i was just trying to come to terms with that. i was scared and i wish i'd had more time with dada. but i also feel like i deserved it because i've caused you so much trouble and like i remember seeing a paper that showed i overall have caused you around 18,000-27,000 dollars in damages. and so i felt really guilty and i could understand why that would happen anyway i guess now it was time for surgery and stuff >.< but... but... instead of surgery! the staff all started to do... naughty things to me! >.< they were giving me drugs and... injecting me with weird stuff... and then they were playing with me... sexually! while i was all vulnerable and couldn't move! it's my fault dada... i know it's supposed to be a bad thing... but... i kind of liked it >.< you know how i've always had a fantasy of being drugged and played with... so i felt a bit better and a little more spoiled that if i died it would at least be that way >.< i felt safe with you there though dada... you were a smart doctor... >.< even if it was... for doing naughty stuff! and the staff all obeyed you very well... but anyway i guess after that the dream shifted cause it wasn't about surgery anymore, and luckily i didn't die on the table. i kept wishing you would play with me daddy and not the rest of the staff, but you were the alpha of the pack so i guess you were distracted with other responsibilities.... i think at one point i almost got to but then i did something wrong and you didn't have enough time anymore and had to go back to your responsibilities.... and then in the next dream i was confused cause i was dating someone but i didn't remember why or how i started dating them, i remembered i was supposed to be only with you. but then i got more confused because they were chasing me around and tackling me to the ground and then they said something that sounded a lot like the random cheeky things you sometimes like to say. you were pretending to be a parrot sneezing "achoo!" and then being like alright sleepy time and falling asleep on me. so i thought maybe it really was you, or even if i had gotten very lost somehow you were still there to guide me with your powers. hehehehe ^.^