Feeling left out

I dreamed that I was on some kind of Outward Bound course again. It was more informal than the one I did in 2017. We all stayed in a house with separate rooms. Asher A and Madalyn were there in one room which I was also in. There was a guy on the course who looked like a mixture between Frank and the guy Tom who was actually on my 2017 course. He was really interested in me sexually. I wasn’t at first, but he was really kind to me so I fell for him. We got quite frisky one day - I don’t remember much but we might’ve had sex. After that, he was barely interested in me and ignored me most of the time. I was confused and heartbroken and I felt used. It was like he only pretended to like me because he wanted sex, and then he tossed me aside. I’d even swapped bedrooms to sleep next to him and he wasn’t even in the bedroom the first night I was there, so I couldn’t sleep. I tried sleeping in another bedroom but I couldn’t sleep there either. Eventually I went back to my original bedroom. Madalyn was in there but Asher wasn’t - she didn’t know where he was. I was sad as I wanted comfort from Asher. As the days passed I started to feel better but I was still pissed off and heartbroken. Often a bunch of people on the course would hang out in the living area chatting and laughing, but I felt very socially incompetent so I struggled to integrate myself into their conversations which made me feel shitty about myself. One of the days everyone went fishing but I didn’t go because I hate cruelty to other living beings and I think fishing is unnecessary. Everyone left and I felt so left out because I was all alone, so I went to the area where they were fishing. I had to go through some extremely narrow areas to get to them and I felt very claustrophobic, it was terrifying. The worst one was that I had to lie down to squeeze through a tiny square shaped area and I could only use my arms to drag myself along. When I eventually got to the fishing area, I saw someone catch the first fish and I cried and screamed because the poor fish looked like it was struggling but luckily it got away. They kept catching such big fish that they’d get dragged into the water themselves and the fish would often get away. I decided to head back so i squeezed through the narrow areas again and when I got back I ate some ice cream. I felt really greedy and left out again because no one else was eating ice cream, everyone was chatting to each other. In the dream I was having before my alarm went off, I was having sex with Asher E and I was trying to film it but the camera was playing up. An Avril Lavigne song was playing. It was an extremely vivid dream with a lot of sensation.